Based on true story, how i have struggled with my own life for the last three years until this moment. I'm proud still stand even there's still a scars, and wound without the cure. This project has a lot of meaning for me. Especially about how to survive in unexpected circumstances. Purpose of this project is to re-imagining about who i am three years ago before this worst condition. Overall, this is the story about my life for the last three bloody years...
There are so many unpredictable story in my life. Especially when i moved into this city three years ago. I felt empty, i lost my best friend, i'm so far away with my brother and i lost myself in the middle of nowhere. At first i tried my best to find the best of the best of anything by myselef without help from others like i had before. It seem's impossible for me to share what i feel to my close friends. I can't make a good decision, and i never know if i make a mistake so i just go with the flow. It's very hard to believe, when you lost everything just in one moment, and you can't believe that because it is very important for your life. I never enjoyed everything too much, like the old time before i came into this cruel city. I used to be fun for, and no one ever know how deep i'm feeling lonely when i moved into this nightmare city. I'm not belong here, i'm not okay without my crazy best friends, it's unbelieveable. I face every single thing on my own, When i made a huge mistake, i didn't notice it's gonna ruined my life. No one watch my back. I fell in love with someone that i never did before in this city. For the first time i ruined my life because of love. Love is a journey that i never feel before. I can't help myself. There's too many lesson from that, but that's not the end of it. It's just the beggining to make my life more damn worst than before. Love made my life so complicated, i couldn't sleep well, almost six or seventh months. I made everything became so hard on myself. It's not funny anymore, when you cannot find happiness again in your life because you can easily predict what will happen next. I tried to rise, but i'm failed. I'm falling into the deepest hole of failure, and crawling into the end of it but it's seem's i never made it. I keep believe, into something that i thing it's impossible to be true in my life.
Faith, hope, passion, it's all gone in no time. I live my life like along an empty world. I used a mask of happines, laugh, and pretend there's nothing happen. At first this happines mask is very useful, but as the days goes by, it cracked and falling into pieces. I'm so far away from my biggest dream, because of fucking love. This is the first biggest challange in my life. I never felt pain in my life before, i think this gonna be the first and the last, but the other came so fast and unpredictable. I try to regain my passion, rebuild everything, but i made a same mistake twice. I never know, because there's no one by my side, especially brother and close friends. No one like them can give me an advice, i don't know why i completely always believe in myself after i figure out everything alone. My new friend in this city gave me advice, i respect that, but still i believe in myself, and i did'nt really care what others think. I took some big risk, i'm failed again, but it's not because of me, there's some important reason that i cannot tell you. After that, i'm very dissapointed, but i don't know why, i still try to find the right person who can stand by my side. Every single day was a nightmare. When you try everything you could, but it never leads to something. It's hurt you know, when you have noticed that you're fought for nothing. I'm lost, everything dissapear from my life. i'm suffered enough, but it's never enough, more comes and stabbed me from behind. Rise from the failure, struggle, fight againts my own thought. I try not to give up too early, i never realize that my life became so damn hard after moved into this city.
It's hard for me now, to explain about what was happen in my life. This story bring back some bad memory from the broken past, leave a thousand unaswered question and neglected opportunity. But in purpose for this project, i just wanna remind myself, that i fought so hard with this cruel life for the last three years. I'm proud, i'm still keep positive even there's still a bitter taste from this unexpected scenes. I'll tell everything about what's going on, and maybe it will inspire all of us how not to give up and refuse to fail. I never want to make this honestly. I just want to make achievement for myself. about how i've been survive, and i never know about tommorow, it is possible, to make a great struggle again than before or i just learn from my great experience and make everything looks like very easy. So far i wouldn't enjoy everything, but i learn some important thing for my life. Keep looking forward and be more brave to take a big risk and deal with the consequence. I lost in so many different situation. But after that, i'll be more wiser than before to make a big revolution of my entire life. I don't wanna make a same mistake twice, i never want to ruin myself again because of love especially, there are so many think to realize with struggle, but fuck yeah, it's not love! It will never happen again, not anymore !
Three years and counting, from my six life chapter it means i try to bring back the great memory, passion, from 2011, when i don't think too much about what's going on in my life, i just enjoy everything without depending my happines from love. I really feel comfortable doing all my hobby, be different, and stay up all night with some friends, but now everthing has changed. I'm so bless, god still give me chance, to make up my life, and be the best of the best than the others! Leave everything behind with no regret!
Be what you want to be, do what you like with passion. Never let nightmare surround your day. Stay optimistic. Hustle hard !
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